 |
| Mom and Dad donated to the St. Vincent's Hospital Wall of Fame. |
Today marks one year since we said hello and goodbye in the same breath to our beautiful daughter McKinley. Truth be told it feels like it was just yesterday. I can distinctly remember everything that happened from Thursday December 6th 2012 until
1:41am on Saturday December 8th 2012. They were, to this point, the longest hours of my life. Throughout this week I have constantly gone back to those few hours. There have been times when I have asked myself "what if...?" While such questions can lead to placing the blame, for things that were out of my control, on myself they have been a source of strength to me. For me, when such questions make their way into my thoughts I take a step back and consider if there was actually anything that I could have changed or done differently. The answer to me that always wins is a resounding no. There was nothing that we could have done differently. While what we do with the situations and circumstances that we are placed in is our choice some of those situations and circumstances are beyond our control. The Lord is in control. He knew that McKinley only needed to visit this earth for a brief moment.
 |
| KD & Adam wedding monkeys |
 |
| McKinley in her seasonal attire. |
Throughout the year I have felt our Heavenly Father's love for me. One of the blessings in my life this year as I have dealt with the loss of McKinley has been that of the presence of my niece Gemma Grill here in Billings. Immediately following McKinley's birth I was not sure if I would be able to deal with having Gemma around. Gemma was born almost exactly 1 month prior to Mckinley. As time has moved forward, as it does no matter what, I began to see what a blessing it was to have Gemma around. Whenever I was having a rough day I could go over to Gramma's house and hold Gemma. During the harder part of my transition Gemma served as a surrogate for my own little girl. I loved that Gemma would just cuddle up and go to sleep in my arms, or that she will always come to me. While watching her grow has been hard at points I can picture my own little girl as she grows.
Life never seems to fall how we plan it. I guess that is what makes it such a journey. Every twist and turn, bump and bruise, shapes us into who we become. I am grateful to have been blessed with such a loving and supportive family. I am grateful for a knowledge that my Heavenly Father has provided a way for me to be sealed to my wife and children forever, that even though McKiney did not get to stay here on earth with us we are and always will be her parents. She will always be in my heart and on my mind. I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I Love the holiday season. I am grateful for all of those around us who have been there for KD and I through everything. I am grateful for those who have been supportive and shown that they remember my little girl.
 |
| McKinley's birthday wreath |
Happy Birthday McKinley Allene! I love you!
Families Are Forever.
